Ever dreamt of a vacation where the closest companion you’ll have is a particularly judgmental seagull? Welcome to EBA Anchorage, Eyre Peninsula’s answer to solitary confinement! Here, our 20-ish houses are spread farther apart than your sanity after a week of instant noodles. Forget the hustle and bustle of city life; the only hustle you’ll find here is the frantic beating of your heart after realizing you forgot the sunscreen (the closest pharmacy is, well, let’s just say you’ll need a survival guide to get there).

Craving a shopping spree? Think again! Unless you consider seashells and suspicious driftwood a retail experience, you’re out of luck. The closest “shop” is a gas pump (hopefully operational) in Streaky Bay, a cool 18km away – assuming your car dodges the emu stampede and rogue tumbleweeds.

But hey, there’s a silver lining! All this glorious isolation guarantees one thing – soul-crushing quiet. No pesky neighbours with their noisy lawnmowers (because let’s face it, who even mows a dirt patch?), no blaring music from teenagers (because teenagers are far too smart to vacation here). Just you, the deafening hum of your existential dread, and the occasional disgruntled pelican honk for company.

So, if your ideal getaway involves questionable life choices and a healthy dose of self-reflection, EBA Anchorage awaits! Book now, and we’ll even throw in a complimentary white flag – you’ll need it after surrendering to the sheer boredom of this “paradise.”